A Matter of Faith 3/5

Caroline eventually comes to but there’s no indication as to how much time has passed. It is still raining and when she looks over to the house it looks all squiggly and out of focus. Also, there’s a cat on a Theremin. Caroline struggles to pull herself up and she staggers over to the house. Once inside, she tries to towel herself off and takes refuge in front of the fireplace. She slips off her skirt and it is revealed that the poultice has moved down her leg revealing the full extent of the gash. Yikes! That cut is at least four inches long and who knows how deep.

Charles and the kids are also caught in the storm, but they have a tent sent up alongside their wagon. Not exactly ideal campout weather, but it looks like they’re going to try to make the most of it. As Pa serves dinner he guesses that Caroline is having “the time of her life” with the house all to herself. It’ll be memorable I’ll give him that.

We cut back to Caroline who has her hair down and is dressed in one of Charles’s nightshirts. That was me about a week or so ago after I got caught in the rain. It’s almost liberating – like you have a frumpiness license. Anyway, she is shivering as she lights a match. She has something wrapped in paper that she lights on fire with the match. Hmm, WebMD doesn’t say anything about pyromania being a symptom of gangrene. Oh, we get a closeup of the paper she is burning and see the article that Charles was reading earlier. Caroline looks over at the door but then a clap of thunder freaks her out and the room gets all blurry and out of focus. Many close-ups of Caroline’s eye before she hobbles over to lock the door. That seems like a bad idea. Maybe Caroline’s thought process is that she won’t be able to defend herself but chances are the storm would be enough to keep any would-be thieves at bay. Besides, no one likes to steal wet stuff. After slamming the window shutters closed, Caroline turns around, takes two steps and buckles under the pain in her leg. She’s able to hobble over to the fireplace and stoke the fire a bit. Speaking of fire, what was the purpose of burning the paper earlier?

Some water is dripping down onto the lip of a pot as Caroline is reapplying some bandaging on the wound. She looks like she could use a nice cup of hot tea. She wraps a shawl around her shoulders and starts to read her bible. Rather, she tries to read but the camera makes it all blurry and tricky. Knock it off, camera. Caroline is a little overwhelmed at this point and has to take a bit of a breather before continuing. Good idea.

Barn Burner 5/5

The judge has returned to the courthouse and the community has reassembled inside. No one is standing while the judge makes his way to the desk. Hear ye, hear ye, Bizarro Court is now in session. The judge asks if the jury has reached a verdict. Charles is slow to rise as he mentions that they have not reached a verdict on both counts. Murmuring ensues. After restoring order, the judge asks what the jury has accomplished. They reached a guilty verdict on the assault charge, which should come as no surprise to Larabee who admitted he hit Andy, but he still makes a face that looks like this :-( only with more grizzle and bigotry. The jury is still deadlocked on the barn burning verdict, causing Larabee to smirk. He smiles at Matt, but Matt looks like he wants to gut the defendant.

The gallery is all abuzz with the latest developments, so the judge threatens to clear them out if they don’t quiet down. He asks what the breakdown of votes is and Charles reports 11 guilty 1 not guilty. Is Henry Fonda on the jury? The judge thinks for a moment before saying “may I ask the identity of the dissenter?” No, your honor, I don’t think you may. Before anyone can call for a mistrial, Joe Kagan speaks up and says he is the one. Larabee is just as surprised as the gallery as he looks over at Matt, who still wants to do awful things to Larabee. The judge restores order once again before making his next statement. “Mr. Kagan as a member of the colored race you’re pretty much accepted in this community?” Kagan says he is, causing the judge to conclude that “in my experience you’re the first negro to serve in judgment on a white man, perhaps it’s all gone to your head.” God forbid the use of jury nullification in this kangaroo court.

OH! And then the judge continues to suggest that Kagan’s gone totally drunk with power and is acting completely irrationally. Kagan coolly explains that he doesn’t like Larabee any more than anyone else in the courtroom but that even though there is probable cause that Larabee started the fire, no one saw him do it. How DARE you bring reasonable doubt into the jury room, Mr. Kagan?! Seriously, what sort of screwed up legal code is this judge operating under? He asks if Kagan could possibly be dissuaded from his stance, but Kagan says no way. Justice Bullshit decides that the only sensible thing would be to excuse Joe Kagan from the jury and replace him with someone who will provide a twelfth guilty verdict so that the judge can get to his four o’clock golf game. Charles and Doc Baker exchange a “WTF?” glance, but don’t intervene, probably for fear of being banished to some foreign country or thrown into a well.

Joe Kagan agrees to being excused, but decides to make a speech first. The judge says that Kagan already had his say, which is bullshit. Before things get ugly, Reverend Alden rises and asks for Kagan to speak. The judge agrees to let Kagan speak but not to waste any time. Kagan then makes a speech about how the Larabees in the world need to get with the times and get over their hate. Also, even though Mr. Larabee is a despicable person, he should be treated equally under the law as everyone else, regardless of personality or skin color. Yay equal protection arguments! Kagan goes on to equate convicting a man unfairly with lynching, which makes me wonder what white guy wrote this script. Seriously, those two concepts are not on equal footing. That’s like equating the Holocaust with a fender bender. Hester-Sue is in the gallery and is moved by Kagan’s words, so perhaps I’m just being overly critical.

Everyone in the gallery seems to be taking Joe Kagan’s words to heart, but the judge still excuses the juror. He walks towards the back of the gallery and puts his hand on Hester-Sue’s shoulder. Charles selects another juror. As the new juror takes his seat, the judge says “since we already have eleven guilty verdicts, it would save time and trouble if you simply announced what yours is.” Are you kidding me? Charles? Reverend Alden? Nels? Why is everyone sitting on their hands about this bullshit process? “No,” a voice cries out. Finally! It’s Andy, who walks up to the front saying that there was something he didn’t say in his testimony. “Young man,” Justice Bullshit says, “anything you have to say must be considered irrelevant unless you...lied in your testimony.” Andy is all “What?” before explaining that he might have caused the fire. Andy explains that he left a lantern on the corral post the night of the fire and the wind might have knocked it over after he left. Larabee jumps on this and says that the fire must have happened that way. Justice Bullshit asks if Andy found the lantern, and the kid said he found it in the ashes. Andy goes on to say he held back on this testimony because he wanted Larabee to be punished, but Kagan’s words taught him that justice is more important than vengeance. It takes a while for the judge to process that concept, but he eventually allows it. Andy rejoins his Pa in the gallery.

The judge asks Larabee to rise. Now that Andy has presented his full story, reasonable doubt now exists beyond a reasonable doubt (NOT the standard of measurement, I might add) that Larabee did not cause the fire. For the assault charge, Larabee has to pay Jonathan Garvey the amount his crop would have sold for at the original co-op price. Larabee says “no fair!” which really ticks off Justice Bullshit. He warns Larabee that the sentencing phase isn’t over, so he should use any further objections very carefully. Larabee shuts up, and with that the court is adjourned.

As the gallery clears out, Mrs. Larabee and her sons are pondering over what just transpired. They eventually get up and leave while Larabee remains standing in the front of room. Mrs. Larabee turns to look at her soon to be estranged husband. He turns back and decides to take the high road. “I didn’t need no nigger defending me! I didn’t need nobody!” I guess the high road is closed for repairs.

Barn Burner 3/5

Andy is all bandaged up and walking around outside. He goes to inspect the smoldering remains of the barn. He stops and notices something on the ground. Andy kneels and finds a broken lantern. This sparks a flashback to the night before when he placed the lantern on the fence post of the corral. I suspect Andrew Garvey with the Lantern in the Barnyard. Or, Mrs. Oleson with the Lead Pipe in the Mercantile. No, I’ll stick with my first guess. Andy sets the lantern down, has another flashback of the burning barn, and gets startled out of his thought by his father approaching. Jonathan tells his son that he doesn’t have to go to school today, but Andy says Doc Baker gave him the okay to go. Jonathan looks at the smoldering pile and laments on all the hard work lost in the blaze. He does find comfort in the idea of Larabee rotting in jail. Andy looks like he wants to respond to this, but decides to head off to school instead.

That evening we rejoin the Garveys at dinner. Jonathan is saying grace and is filling God and the audience in on all the details of what has happened so far in the episode. Once the recap is over and the family starts to eat, Jonathan tells his wife and son that Larabee claims he is innocent on the arson charge. Alice is more concerned about Andy having to testify at the trial. Andy pokes at his food for a bit before asking what is going to happen to Larabee. Alice ends the conversation before he gets an answer.

The next morning the town is gathering at the schoolhouse for the trial. That is one multi-purpose building they have there in Walnut Grove. It’s a school, a church, a theater, and now a courthouse. Modern urban developers could learn a thing or two from a space like that. As people file in, one man is grumbling about how Larabee, despite being his so-called friend, was willing to cheat him and the rest of the co-op. He passes by Joe Kagan as he mutters “hanging is too good for him.” Joe Kagan breaks the fourth wall as he gives the audience a look that reads “uh, not so fast there Captain Swift of the Justice League.”

Nels escorts Larabee from the ice house as the trial gets ready to start. The judge is at the desk making some notes while Reverend Alden looks on at the gallery with concern. Nels brings in the suspect and the crowd grows silent. Larabee begins to sit down but the judge asks him to remain standing for the time being. “Barn burning is a serious felony offense,” the judge says before asking for a plea. Larabee says he didn’t do it. The judge says that the record shows that Larabee confessed to the crime. Larabee said he thought they were talking about the assault charge. The judge concludes not guilty on the arson charge and guilty on the assault charge. Larabee agrees, though I’m finding this process a bit fishy.

The judge asks Reverend Alden to be foreman of the jury. The Reverend is okay with serving on the jury, but he thinks there would be a major conflict of interest if he served as foreman. He nominates Charles for the foreman duty. Charles agrees and is asked to assemble a jury with great speed since the judge has stuff to do elsewhere. Your Honor, it is the defendant who has a right to a speedy trial, not the judge. The process gets even murkier when jury selection turns into a schoolyard pick. The jury includes the Reverend, Nels, Doc Baker, Fred Simmons, and Steve Mason. At this point Larabee interjects that all the jurors are prejudiced against him. The judge tells him tough. Um, mistrial? Larabee says his friend Matt should be on the jury and Charles tells him that he was next on the list anyway. This calms Larabee down until Charles calls on Joe Kagan. Larabee hops to his feet saying, and I quote: “cause it’s agin the law to have a colored on a jury.” The judge verifies that the objection is on racial grounds before informing the gallery that people of the “negro race” may sit on the jury of a trial of a white man. The crowd oohs and ahhs as Kagan joins the jury. Larabee looks just a bit more sour.

Barn Burner 2/5

Jonathan is at the Ingalls’ house sharing with Charles what happened with Larabee. Charles tries to assure Jonathan that things will turn out for the best, but Alice is there and disagrees. With the co-op broken, it’s every farmer for himself.

Meanwhile, Larabee is still steamed about what happened and is pacing furiously across the parlor. He mutters, partly to himself and partly to his wife, that he can’t believe someone would barge in and shame him in front of his family. Maybe if you didn’t do something shameful it wouldn’t be an issue, eh Larabee? He pours himself a drink that he quickly chugs down. Mrs. Larabee notices this and reluctantly attempts diplomacy. “You can’t hardly blame him for being upset,” she says. Larabee accuses her of taking Garvey’s side, which she quickly denies. Larabee decides to settle the score and grabs his shotgun. Oh geez, this is bad news. Mrs. Larabee tries to block the door but he just pushes her out of the way.

Andy Garvey is working on his homework when Larabee barges in. “I’m here to see your pa, boy,” Larabee tells a frightened Andy. The kid says he isn’t home but Larabee calls him a liar and starts to search the place. Andy tries to stop the man, but Larabee knocks him to the ground. We can hear what sounds like a tree branch snapping. Did Larabee just kill Andy? Not cool. Larabee looks down at the kid, says “boy” and gets no response. He rolls Andy over and there is blood streaming down the side of his face. Oh poopies. Larabee high tails it out of there. A few moments later, Andy regains consciousness and stands himself up. He grabs the lantern from the table and goes outside. He can feel the blood on his face as he heads over to the corral to get a horse. He places the lantern on the fencepost as he opens the gate.

Andy gets the bridle on the horse and rides over to the Ingalls place. He runs into his folks on the way there and tells them what happened. Jonathan lifts Andy on the wagon and mounts Andy’s horse. He tells Alice to go home as he goes to take care of Larabee. Alice tells him not to go since Larabee has a shotgun and a thirst for blood. Jonathan says he doesn’t care, but Alice says she does. Jonathan thinks about it for a moment and decides to ride back with his family.

Upon their return, the Garveys see their barn in flames. Everyone is shocked and Andy supposes that Mr. Larabee must have come back. Jonathan tells Alice to take care of Andy and she knows he’s departing again. “Don’t worry,” he tells her, “I’m just going to town.” If you’re being figurative, Jonathan, I think that’s what your wife is worried about.

“NOOOOO!” we hear Harriet scream at her husband. “THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU,” she screeches as Nels walks down the stairs. I guess Jonathan has rounded up a posse of the other co-opers. Nels grabs his shotgun as Harriet tries to keep her husband from joining the angry mob. He tells Harriet to go to bed as the posse moves out.

We rejoin the posse as they surround Larabee’s. Charles bangs on the front door as Larabee loads his shotgun in the parlor. Mrs. Larabee comes out of her room to find out what’s going on but her husband says he has a handle on this. He yells out for the posse to clear off his property. Charles tells Larabee that resistance is futile, but the man disagrees. Larabee’s sons come out to see the hubbub and they still have the same stupid looks on their faces. Garvey yells something into the house and Larabee responds “It’s your own fault that your boy got hurt.” Yeah, I guess Jonathan was the one who decided to place the bureau at the location where Andy’s head got cracked.

Larabee yells out a few more threats before Nels, sticking his shotgun through the back window, tells Larabee to put his gun down. He tells Larabee to unlock the door, allowing Garvey to barge in and grab Larabee around the collar. The rest of the posse breaks up the developing melee and tells Jonathan a judge should take care of this matter. Until then, Larabee will be locked in the icehouse. Nels apologizes to the other Larabees as the posse escorts Mr. Larabee out the door.

I'll Be Waving as You Drive Away 3/10

Night has fallen and Charles is out in the barn sanding a piece of wood (not a euphemism). Caroline walks in and says she wanted to come out and be lazy with her husband. He claims he is refinishing a cupboard door, but Caroline busts him saying the door doesn't need refinishing. Charles stops and mumbles "It's been three weeks -- she's getting worse, isn't she?" Caroline sighs and affirms.

We then hear some glass breaking and Laura screaming "Fire!" Charles and Caroline run into the house where one of the chairs is up in flames. Pa tells Ma to get a blanket, tells Laura not to throw water on the blaze and then grabs the chair and takes it out the front door. Caroline smothers the fire with the blanket as all three Ingalls girls stand by watching silently. Once the fire is out, Mary apologizes and Pa says there was no harm done. He asks what happened and Mary says she was trying to read but it was so dark that she went to get another lamp and she dropped it. You know, Mary is a bit of a fire bug. Caroline is comprehending the gravity of what is happening to her daughter, but she tries to play it off as Mary overworking herself. She offers Mary a cool cloth to help rest her eyes, but Mary decides to go to bed instead. Pa is listening and looks miserable. Wait a minute -- I don't think they've told Mary yet. Dude, it's been three weeks! Mary apologizes again before heading up to the loft. Caroline asks Laura to get a mop, but Half-Pint is not amused. "Me again? Mary gets to do anything she wants and I have to do all the work?" Sorry Laura: Mary's raw deal outweighs your raw deal. Charles yells at Laura to get the mop and she runs out of the house to retrieve it. Caroline sends Carrie to bed before rejoining Charles at the back window. He decides that they need to tell Mary the truth. Ya think? Caroline offers to do it, but Charles decides that he'll do it tomorrow.

Charles decides to head over to the church for some contemplation. It must be Saturday since Reverend Alden is there setting up the room for services the following morning. The Reverend takes a seat next to Charles and informs him that Doc Baker told him what is going on. I haven't really touched on this yet, but Doc Baker rarely takes patient privilege into account, like, ever. It's not like he blabs the news all over town, but even passing the news on to someone who also has a privilege relationship (religious privilege in this case) is still a breach. Charles doesn't seem as concerned about this as I am as he just sits there while the Reverend offers help. Charles asks "why doesn't God listen?" The Reverend replies that God always answers prayers, just not the way that we would want them answered. In other words, all of the operators are with other customers at the moment and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received. I would not want to work at that switchboard. Anyway, the Reverend assures Charles that God has the best intentions with what he is doing, though Charles can't understand why taking away the sight of a fifteen-year-old seems like a good idea. Reverend Alden believes that Mary was chosen for some special purpose. Charles says he has to tell his daughter that she is going blind and that an undefined "special purpose" is not the most effective spin on the situation. The Reverend takes several moments to think about it, but Charles gets up and leaves before he can respond.

The next day, Mary is sitting by a stream reading a book with her reading glass. Ah yes, using a magnifying glass on a book when the sun is beaming down on you. Fire bug. Charles takes a seat next to his daughter and she puts the glass and book down before any of the pages begin to smolder. Mary notices that something is bothering her Pa and she asks if he is worried about the railroad strike. They talk a bit about the economic meltdown of Hero Township, but it becomes clear to Mary that her Pa is bothered about something else. Charles' voice starts to waver as he explains what the scarlet fever did to Mary's eyes. She asks if things will get better, but he finally breaks it to his daughter that she will eventually go blind. It should come as no surprise that Mary does not take the news well. I think the scarlet fever may have affected her tear ducts as well because her crying is really not all that convincing. Eventually Mary runs off as Pa absorbs what just happened.

The Award 1/5

1974 – Burning the midnight oil preparing for a school contest, Mary causes a fire, and Caroline orders her to withdraw.

Hallmark was nice enough to cycle back to the beginning of the series. Now maybe we can pinpoint where exactly things went off the rails.

This episode starts with a voiceover from Laura about how Pa doesn’t travel all that often but that he would be gone for three weeks. I guess Michael Landon had a Bonanza reunion tour that he couldn’t reschedule. Anyway, we see a wagon driving away as the girls yell their goodbyes to Pa and Mr. Edwards. We don’t actually see the men and it is the last we’ll be not seeing them this episode. Caroline tells Laura and Mary that they will be late for school, so the two of them run inside the house to grab their things.

We see the girls walking to school and Laura is dawdling. Mary tells her to hurry up but Laura says she is looking for something. They argue about this for a bit, eventually working around to Laura making fun of Mary for being overly studious. The girls finally make it to the school and are rather late. Miss Beadle is in the middle of telling the class about a scholarship award contest when she pauses to allow the Ingalls girls to take their seats. Mary apologizes before Miss Beadle continues. The scholarship award is given to the student who gets the highest score on a special exam. Sort of like Mathcounts, but less socially retarded. Before you get offended, I did make it to the state level in 8th grade, so I know what I’m talking about. Anyway, the award this year has been upgraded from a ribbon to a leather-bound Webster’s Dictionary. Nice improvement, school board. The kids in the class “ooh and ahh” politely but Mary looks at it as if the book was the Holy Grail. Miss Beadle comments that she expects there to be increased interest in the exam due to the prize, but her words sort of fade into the background as we get a close up of Mary looking at the book. She doesn’t blink.

As the girls walk home from school it is now Mary who is dawdling. She is studying a history text that Miss Beadle loaned her in preparation for the exam. Laura scoffs at this, commenting that history is nothing but stories about dead people. How meta. Inside the house, Caroline is ironing as she helps Carrie with her ABC’s. The girls arrive and Caroline reminds them to close the door as she asks about their day at school. Mary shows Ma the book she borrowed and they marvel at it. Laura asks if she can go fishing after her chores, but Ma tells her that she can still study even though she doesn’t have homework. Laura goes outside to start the chores and Caroline stresses closing the door again.

That night, Laura is trying and failing to sleep. Mary is reading the book and the light is keeping Laura awake. Mary says she can’t read without the light and Laura tells her that she should be sleeping instead of reading anyway. Mary rolls her eyes and blows out the lamp. She crawls into bed with Laura. Later on we see that Mary still can’t sleep, so she sneaks out of bed and takes the book downstairs. Mary lights a lantern and goes into the stable to read some more. A harpsichord starts to play a theme highlighting Mary’s studious nature/nerdiness. The camera zooms in on the binding and I can only assume it is from the cameraman dozing off.

We then cut to the flame of the lantern resting on a stool as Mary is resting on a pile of straw. In typical Little House fashion, dozing Mary rolls over and kicks the stool knocking the lantern to the straw covered ground. The horse looks over to see what’s up and grunts in concern. The horse is at a loss for words as the nerdiness theme takes a minor key. Mary curls up under the blanket because the fire is making her colder? The camera zooms in on the horse, which never looks good, and it finally whinnies out a warning. This wakes up Mary who stands up and just looks at the fire. She creeps out of the barn, grabs a rake and rolls the still flaming lantern into a bed of fresh straw. You know, if it wasn’t for the fact that I am trying to get a variety of characters and situations covered in this blog I would seriously consider renaming this “Mary Ingalls Sucks at Life”.

Anyway, a new fire starts up and this causes Mary to run to the house to get Ma. Mary runs back to the stable but Ma pulls her away as soon as she catches up to her daughter. “Buckets!” Ma screams. “Draw water from the creek!” Ma runs into the burning stable to evacuate the horse and cow. Jack the dog just sits nearby and supervises. Thanks pooch. Caroline grabs one of the buckets and tosses the water on the flames. After she empties both buckets, she grabs the blanket Mary was using and starts beating down the flames. That fire doesn’t stand a chance once Caroline Ingalls brings da pain. The fire is mostly out when the girls return with the buckets, but Ma throws the water down just to make sure there are no flare ups.

Mary slinks away a few feet as Ma catches her breath. Mary is crying as she starts to apologize but Caroline has an icy tone to her voice when she says “Sorry is not enough.” Laura is watching with a look that indicates that this is about to get really good really fast. Ma asks what happened and Mary explains that she was studying and didn’t want to wake her up. Caroline takes a moment to process this before she loses her temper. “How many times have I told you not to light matches or lanterns in the barn?!” Mary’s weeping reply: “Hundreds.” Mary Ingalls Sucks at Life. This infuriates Caroline further and she tells Mary that she is not allowed to take the exam and that Mary is to tell Miss Beadle tomorrow morning. Laura meekly points out that tomorrow is Saturday, which doesn’t really defuse the situation. Caroline sends the girls back to bed.