Wave of the Future 1/5

Wave of the Future

1981 – Mrs. Oleson converts her restaurant to “fast food,” but her success causes problems.

The show starts as it always does with the wagon stopping on the hilltop and Laura and Carrie…running away from it? I have never been too sure exactly what is going on there. The music is in double time, so we must have a heavy plot on this one.

A photographer is setting up his equipment in front of a sign for Mrs. Sullivan’s Kitchen. He asks a man in a top hat, sniffing what looks like a sad cake or an even sadder meatloaf, where the old lady is. I’m not sure if he is referring to Mrs. Sullivan or the wife of the man in the top hat, but either way the photographer is not in the mood to dilly dally. We then see an elderly woman staggering up the curb next to the building where the sign is located. Both the music and the physicality of the woman indicate she is thoroughly sloshed. Oh good, comic relief two minutes in. Someone is going to get typhoid before this hour is done.

Mr. Sullivan (it’s his old lady, so we’ll just go with that name for now) starts art directing the shot. “You pushed me,” the lady slurs. Mr. Sullivan denies this but she demands an apology. He concedes, but she responds “it’s too late to be sorry.” Yes, yes it is. Mr. Sullivan hands her the plate with Mrs. Sullivan’s cake, which confuses the woman. At first I wondered if she couldn’t tell if it was cake or meatloaf, but it is simply a catalyst for more drunken banter. Scratch the typhoid – I’m going with gangrene. The art directing continues, but the woman isn’t smiling. She prefers Rum Baba (sans baba) over chocolate cake. When Mr. Sullivan promises to give her some Rum Baba, Mrs. Sullivan proceeds to give one of those creepy toothless smiles that help sell denture cream.

It’s nighttime in Walnut Grove and we’re outside Oleson Mercantile. Hester-Sue is scrambling through Caroline’s Restaurant. The dining area is packed, which surprises me a little bit given that Walnut Grove still seems kind of small at this point. After three or four orders are barked Hester-Sue’s way, she retreats to the kitchen and passes the fish orders to Caroline. Caroline has already cooked the last of the fish, which causes Hester-Sue to wish she was working anywhere else but the restaurant.

As Hester-Sue takes an order of roast beef out to the dining room, Mrs. Oleson enters the restaurant. She introduces her companion, Major Guffey. Hester-Sue politely nods but is unable to get away without Mrs. Oleson prattling on about how busy the restaurant appears to be. Hester-Sue tries to disengage again, but Mrs. Oleson grabs her arm and orders two fish dinners. She does not respond well to being told there is no more fish, but rather than shriek about it Mrs. Oleson joins Major Guffey at their table. The roast beef order finally makes its way to Ernie, Walnut Grove’s token hard-of-hearing-old-guy. Wow, four minutes in and we’ve had comedic drunkenness and a bunch of “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” dialogue. And Mrs. Oleson, who is yoo-hooing for Hester-Sue to take their order. With each pace, Hester-Sue receives a complaint/request from each table. She finally makes her way to the kitchen and unleashes a blood-curdling scream. From the sound of it I would guess the stage directions involve a dead body on the kitchen floor, but it’s just Hester-Sue releasing some stress.

Later that evening, Major Guffey is sharing some observations and suggestions about the restaurant with Nels and Harriet. “Just remember this,” he states “a restaurant is a battlefield.” Nels is a little dubious about this philosophy, but Major Guffey begins to share some of his experiences during the War Between the States. What it comes down to, in Major Guffey’s eyes, is efficiency. “The more efficient your mess hall, the less work you have to do and the more money you can make.” Of course, the word “money” causes Mrs. Oleson to drool more than Pavlov’s dogs so she is all ears to Guffey’s proposal to have the restaurant join the Mrs. Sullivan’s franchise. He even has a contract ready for the Olesons to sign. Nels has to be a spoil-sport by being sensible about diving into a business transaction billed as a “wave of the future”. Major Guffey isn’t as shifty as he could be and tells the Olesons to take some time to read things over as he will be back in town in a few days.

Outside the Oleson house we hear someone banging on a piano. Wait a minute, what’s the timeline here? Nellie should be older but that looks like a child at the piano. She has the same hair, maybe it’s a different actress? I had to look this up: it is the Olesons’ adopted daughter Nancy, who is essentially Nellie 2.0. That is…extremely creepy. Anyway, Harriet is browbeating Nels about wasting time thinking things over when they could be indentured servants to Mrs. Sullivan. Nels is actually reading the contract which annoys Mrs. Oleson further. Between the clanging on the piano and the clanging of Harriet’s vocal cords, Nels starts to lose his temper. “Nancy, must you bang on that piano?” Nancy looks at him, does that fake crying thing that all brats do (so charming!) and wails “You hate me!” What kind of default reaction is that?

Harriet tries to appease Nancy as Nels leaves the room. “Where are you going?” Harriet asks. “Insane. I am going insane,” he responds. As shrill as things have already gotten seven minutes in: 2 points Mr. Oleson. Before he leaves, Nels decides that since Harriet refers to it as her restaurant (though I do think the namesake of Caroline’s is supposed to be a partial partner) she can do with it what she wants. That can only lead to good things, I’m sure.