Goodbye, Mrs. Wilder 2/5

It’s nighttime at the homestead. Albert comes down from the loft to see if there is any cake left, but Caroline is saving what’s left for tomorrow. Charles tosses the kid an apple and Albert goes back to bed. Ma and Pa are going over the list of items the kids will need now that a new dress code is in effect. Albert overhears this and calls down that they won’t need to bother with black stockings. Caroline reminds him that he only has one pair, but Albert is standing his ground that he will not wear stockings to school. Charles chuckles at this and okays the request. He finishes totaling up the list and notices that Caroline is quiet. She’s worried about how Laura loved teaching and it has essentially been taken away from her. Charles suggests that Laura may have been looking for an out, but Caroline doesn’t buy that theory for a second. Neither does Charles.

The next day at school all the kids are in uniforms: the boys looking like bored waiters at the Olive Garden and the girls ready to audition for Pirates of Penzance. Mrs. Oleson starts ringing the bell and ushering the children inside. Once everyone is in, Harriet tells the kids to line up for inspection. The kids split up along the aisle as Mrs. Oleson Soul Trains down the line doing the Stocking Check Shuffle. She stops at one girl who is not wearing white stockings. The girl sheepishly mentions that her parents can’t afford stockings, prompting Harriet to set up a layaway plan for the child. Gross. Harriet works her way around to the boys’ side of the aisle and stops at Albert when she notices his shoes are scuffed. Upon closer inspection she sees that he is not wearing black socks. She does not set up a layaway plan for him as his reason for not wearing them is because he only wears black socks for special occasions. Harriet is not impressed.

After inspections are over a man and his son enter the room. The boy’s name is Ralph Parker and he is about the same age as Albert and Willie. He asks why everyone is dressed the same. “Because I require it,” Mrs. Oleson replies, either icily (yikes) or sexily (YIKES). Ralph and his father have a whispered chat. Ralph: “I ain’t gettin’ up with that.” Pop: “You’ll do as you’re told.” Ralph: “It looks dumb.” Pop: “Mind your mouth boy or I’ll put my fist in it.” Oh, geez. Mr. Parker assures Mrs. Oleson that Ralph will have his clothes tomorrow and leaves as Ralph heads toward his seat. Before Harriet can complete her first sentence of her first lesson, Ralph blows a raspberry and everyone laughs. “Who made that rude noise?” demands Harriet. Ralph then pinches Willie who cries out in pain. Because someone who yelps is obviously a troublemaker, Harriet sends her son to the corner.

That evening while cooking dinner, Harriet prepares her French lesson. If I can get the gray sludge covering the part of my brain where I stored my tenth grade French class, I can try to translate. “Do you like my new dress? Yes, I like your new dress. Do you have your…blue feather(?). No, I do not have my…blue parachute(?).” Nels interrupts Harriet before my brain melts. He asks about dinner, but Harriet goes on about how her plan is to do an ask/response exercise for tomorrow’s French class. Yeah, repeating sentences with conjugated verbs with no context other than Mrs. Oleson basically doing ads for the mercantile is a fantastic way to learn a foreign language. Nels asks her how to say “do you think supper will ever be ready?” Harriet starts to translate but then realizes what her husband did there. She is not amused by that or his threat that he will go to the restaurant in five minutes. She chases him out of the kitchen while tossing French insults his way. Je suis fatigué de ceci, laissez-moi vous disent.