The Wolves 5/5

The kids are still holed up in the barn. Laura asks Mary how long they’ve been waiting and she replies, “a couple of hours.” Carrie says she’s hungry (or “hungwee” as she says it) but Mary says it is too dark outside to tell if the dogs are gone. Laura hears a rustling sound outside so Mary goes to investigate. Mary can hear the sound but she can’t find the source. A dog barks behind Mary and she sees that one of the dogs is trying to dig under the wall. Seriously? Did the kids bathe in meat that morning or something?

The sound of the dog pack freaking out starts up again, so Mary decides to move up to the loft. Except that the ladder is now next to Laura’s treehouse. Oops. Mary spots a table and uses it to climb up to the loft. As the kids struggle to climb, the injured mama wolf starts to paw at her muzzle. The dogs are now working at three separate points around the perimeter trying to dig in. This is dumb. Before Andy climbs up he decides that the pups need to go up to the loft. Meanwhile, Old Yeller and Rin Tin Tin are almost done with their holes. As the mama wolf works on her muzzle, the kids are trying to get Bandit up to the loft. Bandit is not a fan of this change of elevation but doesn’t put up much of a fight. Andy gets up into the loft just as a dog gets through the wall and mama wolf gets off her muzzle (uh, “Muzzle Fail”). As soon as Andy turns around he and Mary get a front row seat for the dogfight. Judging by their faces, the dog they bet on isn’t winning. At this point the entire pack has infiltrated the barn. Wait a minute, that’s not a wolf – that’s the Shaggy Dog! Is this episode an allegory for gangs or something? Boooooo!

Mary rejoins the other kids in the corner of the loft. She hugs Carrie and tells her everything is going to be alright. Andy wishes his Pa would come looking for him, which causes Laura to wonder what will happen if no one comes for them. Weren’t Charles and Caroline only supposed to be gone for a couple of days? They should be back soon I would think. Mary has a better idea: “Bandit knows the way to Andy’s house. Maybe he could get Mr. Garvey!” First, Bandit is not Lassie (who may or may not be part of the “wolf” pack down below. Second, Bandit is not a carrier pigeon. What’s great about this is that Bandit’s head is resting on Laura’s arm in a way that makes it look like Bandit is thinking “I need to talk to my agent about getting me on a show with scripts that aren’t stupid.” Laura resists the idea and I could swear I just saw Bandit roll his eyes. I think I understand why Charles and Caroline left town for this episode.

Mary stands up and opens a chute just above Laura’s head. Laura tells her dog that he is their only hope. The girls send the dog outside and it starts bounding towards the hills. Benji, who is keeping watch outside the compound sees Bandit and starts to chase after him. Oh good, not only is this entire premise preposterous, the filming is poorly conceived as well. It’s that point after dusk where it is more dark than light and the dogs are running through an area with trees. In other words, there’s not enough natural light to light the scene but there is just enough light to cast shadows everywhere. Anyway, the chase is on but Bandit has a plan. He puts his Bugs Bunny skills to work and runs into a hollow log. Benji follows but gets stuck while Bandit (the larger dog) gets out the other side. Whatever, show: check-minus.

Over at the Garvey farm Jonathan is tying up his horse in the stable. He notices the wolves are gone and runs into the house. Alice hears Jonathan come in and mentions that he is late. Jonathan asks where Andy is but Alice thought he was with her husband. Jonathan asks if Larabee or anyone else has been lurking around but Alice hasn’t seen anyone. At this point Bandit walks in with a pretty bad gash on his leg. Jonathan takes a look at the dog and realizes that trouble is a-brewin’ at the ol’ Ingalls place.

While Jonathan is in the barn hitching up his horse, at a pace not quite as urgent a few moments ago, Larabee arrives. He has a couple of thugs with guns and says they need to continue the discussion from earlier. Jonathan says he’s a little preoccupied with his son and the Ingalls girls being in possible danger. He invites Larabee and company to tag along or get out of his way. The camera zooms in on Larabee for no real reason.

Meanwhile at the dog shelter, the canines are milling about on the ground floor while the asinines are grousing in the loft. Then the yuppie dog from Best in Show decides it’s time to hop onto the table and climb into the loft. My guess is Carrie is made of jerky. Mary grabs a sandbag and starts swinging at the dogs trying to leap up. It’s going fine until one of the dogs grabs the bag in its teeth. Mary Ingalls sucks at whac-a-mole. She grabs a pitchfork, but just before things get gruesome or hilarious Jonathan kicks in the door and the thugs start firing shots. After eight shots are fired Jonathan hops up into view and asks if the kids are alright. Larabee also pops into view and sees Andy hugging Jonathan as the kid whimpers about the mama wolf saving his life. Jonathan turns to give Larabee an “I told you so” glare. Shut up, Jonathan. Mary is crying in the corner.

The next day, Jonathan, Laura, and Andy set the pups free. They talk about what the deal was with the dogs from last night. Jonathan’s theory was that the dogs used to be good family dogs but their masters didn’t love them. So it is an allegory. Booooo!

The Aftermath 5/5

The town meeting is still sitting in silence as Broder walks up and down the aisles. He asks if anyone has anything to say, but Doc Baker just hands him the newspaper. Reverend Alden asks if Broder's question has been answered. Broder calls the House of God a "house of liars". Reverend Alden seems unfazed by this, but Mr. Ford is about to crack. Jonathan notices this. When Mr. Ford stands up to tell Broder the truth, Garvey punches him out and says that he will claim the reward. Doc Baker tries to interject, but Garvey tells him to butt out. Jonathan tells Broder that they have Mary as a hostage, but Broder says that he'll do what he can. I think Broder has a glass eye.

Broder rings the church bell and assembles the posse. Jonathan tells Broder that the horses won't be necessary, but the leader tells him to shut up and take them to the hideout. Jonathan leads them over a hill to the old Taylor place. The posse moves their horses to the hill crest before dismounting. The posse surrounds the house and aim. Broder yells out a warning to the James boys that they need to come out of the house now or they will fire. Nice that they are trying to protect Mary. Just think of those savings, taxpayers! Meanwhile, Jonathan is shooing the horses away. Jonathan rejoins the men-folk and tells them that the horses are spooked and they need to get the posse wagons out of town. After a few moments, the shooting stops and the posse investigates the house. They quickly discover that this house was not the hideout. Wah wah.

Over at the actual hideout, Jonathan arrives with two horses for the James brothers. Jesse apologizes to Mary but she is unresponsive. Jonathan suggests that the boys leave town while the posse is preoccupied. They take his advice and leave. Charles thanks Jonathan.

Back in town, the posse is still trying to track down their horses. Jonathan walks into town with a horse and Broder is not amused. He pulls out a revolver and tells Jonathan that he "has plenty to answer for." Garvey, is all "what, me?" and tells Broder that he was chasing down the horses because they were spooked by the gunfire from earlier. Charles vouches for Jonathan. You know, it's a good thing Broder didn't ask why Mary was with Charles because that might have tipped him off that someone was at the hideout. As Broder mounts his horse and begins to depart, Jonathan asks if he caught the James brothers. Broder just gives him an icy stare and then the posse leaves.

At the next church service, Reverend Alden gives a sermon recapping the recent events. He meditates a bit on the blurred line of right and wrong and ultimately it is up to everyone to individually make peace with their conscience. We can see Mary contemplate this before she looks over at Bobby. She then voices over that, while the James brothers escaped that day never to be seen in Walnut Grove again, Bobby Ford met up with Jesse six years later. Jesse did not survive that encounter.

The Aftermath 3/5

The church bell rings as the congregation files into the building. The Ingalls family runs into Doc Baker and Jonathan. They exchange greetings and Doc Baker says he hopes for a short sermon because "it's gonna be hotter than you know what" today. Caroline is somewhat scandalized by this. Really? Doc Baker tips his hat in apology. Just then, the sound of horses approaching causes those still outside to turn around. Caroline wonders who the riders are and Mary notices they are carrying guns. Isn't stating the obvious Laura's job? She still hasn't said anything! Charles tells his wife and kids to go inside while he and the other men-folk deal with the arriving posse.

The leader of the posse rides up and says howdy to the gentlemen gathered outside. He's looking for any information about the James brothers because they may have passed through the area recently. Charles asks if the man is a sheriff, but the posse is actually a group of bounty hunters. Charles, Jonathan and Doc Baker exchange a glance. The leader notices this and waxes philosophical about how bounty hunters may be unpopular but they save "you taxpayers a lot of money." Well, no. You're duplicating a service that is already being provided and paid for. Also, what taxes would be applied in this situation? Certainly not federal, since income taxes weren't established until 1918. Doc Baker also asks how the bounty hunters save money. The leader says that trials cost money, so the swift justice served by a bounty hunter gets to bypass that costly step. How considerate. Charles steps forward and tells the leader that the only people they have seen recently with guns are the bounty hunters. The leader suggests that the James brothers might be a bit more subtle than to brandish weapons willy nilly. He then hands a "Wanted" poster to Charles and asks for the townspeople to keep an eye out for trouble. Ominous music plays as they ride off. Doc Baker suggests that they go inside, but Charles hands him the poster first. They instantly recognize the pictures as Dankworth and Hobbes. Jonathan asks Charles why he didn't say anything. Charles responds that he didn't want them killed in cold blood. Doc Baker agrees but thinks that perhaps others should be made aware of the situation. Charles suggests a men-folk meeting during lunchtime the next day.

The bounty hunters ride past the Plaza De Hanson and Jesse see the commotion outside the front window. He has his gun pulled, but since the hunters don't stop Jesse determines that no one in town is aware of their true identities. Frank would rather just get a couple of horses and skip town. Jesse disagrees, saying that Walnut Grove may be the safest place for them to hideout at the moment.

"I wouldn't mind so much if I had a reason, but you won't give me one," Mary whines. We're back at the homestead with Bizarro Caroline laying down the law. Charles is sitting at the table quietly as Mary whines about why she isn't allowed to keep her job. Charles tells her she will find out later, but until then she is simply not allowed to work for the men. Mary reluctantly agrees and sulks her way up to the loft. Laura, who sat on the edge of the loft to watch the scene below, just holds her head in her hands and sighs. Does she have laryngitis this week or something?

Men-folk meeting. Actually, it looks like post meeting since Reverend Alden kindly summarizes that someone will travel to Mankato to tell the marshal there of the situation. The sound of approaching horses is heard again. The bounty hunters have returned and everyone looks concerned. "What are we going to tell them?" asks Nels. "As little as we can," replies Jonathan as he walks over to meet the leader. The leader is less cordial this time, reporting that witnesses saw the James brothers get off the stage in Walnut Grove the week before. One of the posse members happens to be the stagecoach driver and he was able to positively ID the guys based on the latest published photos of the criminals. The leader asks where they are but no one responds. "Harboring criminals is a serious offense," the leader warns,"we either get your cooperation or every building in this town is gonna be turned inside out. Believe me we have the authority." From who? Granted, my only knowledge of the world of bounty hunters comes from the Metroid games and Midnight Run, so unless this guy rolls up into a ball and starts dropping F-bombs I don't think he's legit.

Anyway, no one answers the leader's threat. Reverend Alden steps forward and suggests that they convene a town meeting. The leader is dubious about this, but Alden emphatically restates that they need a town meeting. The leader suspects that something is up, but decides to allow for a meeting in one hour. Oh, and they are going to seal the town. Jonathan says some of the kids in school live outside of town, so the leader says the kids can leave but everyone else has to stay put. The posse splits up to cover the exits.

Back at Maison Hanson, Jesse is in the front doorway and he looks perturbed. Frank hobbles over and asks his brother if the posse might have just been passing through. Jesse is not naive and he is starting to think of a Plan B. This could get ugly.

Miss Beadle is in the middle of discussing a lesson when Jonathan walks in. He asks to speak to the teacher and she excuses herself. We hear some whispers and Mary looks on with bland concern. Bobby is trying to stare her down. They are so going to make out. Miss Beadle returns and tells the class they will be dismissing early. After a brief cheer, Miss Beadle tells the kids to go straight home and that tomorrow will be the start of their Shakespeare unit. Yay! Oh, the kids don't seem to share my enthusiasm. The kids file out but Miss Beadle asks Mary to stick around for a moment. They have a chat about the recent Civil War unit and Miss Beadle believes that Mary got more out of it than any one in the class. Mary thanks her and leaves.

We see various outskirts of town and the posse keeping watch. The stagecoach driver and the leader, Mr. Broder, have a chat about the situation. The driver can't believe that the law-abiding, God-fearing folks of the town would hide criminals. Broder doesn't fully believe that they are law-abiding or even friendly. More flies with honey, Broder.

Laura and Carrie are running down a road that appears to be going back into town. Pa sees them and calls them over. He asks why they are back in town. Laura finally says something! Specifically, she left a book at school and returned to get it. Pa asks where Mary is and Laura reluctantly reveals that she went to thank Dankworth and Hobbes. Charles is not a fan of this development. Laura asks about her book, but Pa snaps at her to go home.

Mary is approaching the Palace. Jesse sees her through the front window then calls Frank over to watch this latest twist. Frank sees the look in Jesse's eye and tells him not to do what he is about to do. Jesse says "life's hard" and you gotta do what you gotta do. There's a knock on the door and Jesse invites Mary inside. Frank is not happy.

Barn Burner 2/5

Jonathan is at the Ingalls’ house sharing with Charles what happened with Larabee. Charles tries to assure Jonathan that things will turn out for the best, but Alice is there and disagrees. With the co-op broken, it’s every farmer for himself.

Meanwhile, Larabee is still steamed about what happened and is pacing furiously across the parlor. He mutters, partly to himself and partly to his wife, that he can’t believe someone would barge in and shame him in front of his family. Maybe if you didn’t do something shameful it wouldn’t be an issue, eh Larabee? He pours himself a drink that he quickly chugs down. Mrs. Larabee notices this and reluctantly attempts diplomacy. “You can’t hardly blame him for being upset,” she says. Larabee accuses her of taking Garvey’s side, which she quickly denies. Larabee decides to settle the score and grabs his shotgun. Oh geez, this is bad news. Mrs. Larabee tries to block the door but he just pushes her out of the way.

Andy Garvey is working on his homework when Larabee barges in. “I’m here to see your pa, boy,” Larabee tells a frightened Andy. The kid says he isn’t home but Larabee calls him a liar and starts to search the place. Andy tries to stop the man, but Larabee knocks him to the ground. We can hear what sounds like a tree branch snapping. Did Larabee just kill Andy? Not cool. Larabee looks down at the kid, says “boy” and gets no response. He rolls Andy over and there is blood streaming down the side of his face. Oh poopies. Larabee high tails it out of there. A few moments later, Andy regains consciousness and stands himself up. He grabs the lantern from the table and goes outside. He can feel the blood on his face as he heads over to the corral to get a horse. He places the lantern on the fencepost as he opens the gate.

Andy gets the bridle on the horse and rides over to the Ingalls place. He runs into his folks on the way there and tells them what happened. Jonathan lifts Andy on the wagon and mounts Andy’s horse. He tells Alice to go home as he goes to take care of Larabee. Alice tells him not to go since Larabee has a shotgun and a thirst for blood. Jonathan says he doesn’t care, but Alice says she does. Jonathan thinks about it for a moment and decides to ride back with his family.

Upon their return, the Garveys see their barn in flames. Everyone is shocked and Andy supposes that Mr. Larabee must have come back. Jonathan tells Alice to take care of Andy and she knows he’s departing again. “Don’t worry,” he tells her, “I’m just going to town.” If you’re being figurative, Jonathan, I think that’s what your wife is worried about.

“NOOOOO!” we hear Harriet scream at her husband. “THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU,” she screeches as Nels walks down the stairs. I guess Jonathan has rounded up a posse of the other co-opers. Nels grabs his shotgun as Harriet tries to keep her husband from joining the angry mob. He tells Harriet to go to bed as the posse moves out.

We rejoin the posse as they surround Larabee’s. Charles bangs on the front door as Larabee loads his shotgun in the parlor. Mrs. Larabee comes out of her room to find out what’s going on but her husband says he has a handle on this. He yells out for the posse to clear off his property. Charles tells Larabee that resistance is futile, but the man disagrees. Larabee’s sons come out to see the hubbub and they still have the same stupid looks on their faces. Garvey yells something into the house and Larabee responds “It’s your own fault that your boy got hurt.” Yeah, I guess Jonathan was the one who decided to place the bureau at the location where Andy’s head got cracked.

Larabee yells out a few more threats before Nels, sticking his shotgun through the back window, tells Larabee to put his gun down. He tells Larabee to unlock the door, allowing Garvey to barge in and grab Larabee around the collar. The rest of the posse breaks up the developing melee and tells Jonathan a judge should take care of this matter. Until then, Larabee will be locked in the icehouse. Nels apologizes to the other Larabees as the posse escorts Mr. Larabee out the door.

My Ellen 5/5

The next day Mrs. Taylor has decided to do some shopping at the Mercantile. Harriet starts to offer her condolences, but Mama Taylor cuts her off with cheerfulness. She asks for some candles and Harriet goes to retrieve them. As she grabs some table candles, Heloise corrects her and asks for twelve birthday candles. Harriet looks confused at first but eventually fulfills the request. Heloise then notices a doll on the counter and remarks on its beauty and that it must be expensive. Harriet agrees and tells her that it’s $4. Heloise decides to buy it, remarking that “they’re only little girls for such a short time, it can’t hurt to spoil them some.” Harriet just stands there absorbing everything like some gobsmacked sponge until Heloise asks for the total. Harriet completes the transaction with a concerned look on her face.

The search party has reassembled back at the Busby ranch. As they walk around Mr. Garvey hears a rustling sound. Cal thinks it must be birds, but Garvey suspects it is something else. He looks over at a tree, calls out for Busby, and the guy who was reading the book jumps out of the tree. Busby starts to run and most of the posse chase after him. Cal decides to run along the ridge going around the other side of the house and draws a bead on Busby. He fires and Busby is down. When the posse catches up to the man, they notice that the wound looks pretty bad and take him to Doc Baker.

At the Doc’s office, Busby is patched up but not really in any condition to talk. However, it appears that he was of diminished capacity before getting shot in the head, so there’s no telling how lucid he’s going to be now. Charles asks the man where Laura is, but Busby is virtually non-responsive. Charles tells him “nobody is going to hurt you” so long as he tells him where Laura is. Busby doesn’t answer, probably because he is using all of his strength to not die, and Charles grabs him and starts to shake him. Garvey stops him before he hurts Busby and then shows Mr. Ingalls how to play Good Cop/Bad Cop. He calmly and quietly asks Busby where he found the book and flowers. Busby mumbles something that after viewing five times with headphones on I still can’t make out. I think the gist is “I dunno.” Garvey tries to goad the answer from Busby by promising that no one is going to hurt him. Seeing as it has only been thirty seconds since Charles made the same promise and instantly reneged, I don’t see that as an effective tactic. Busby glances over at Charles and says “That’s...not...true.” Ha! “I just wanted...to look...at...the pictures.” He starts to sob a little, most likely overwhelmed by the situation and then loses consciousness. Doc Baker declares him too weak from blood loss.

Charles stands in place for a moment, contemplating his next move. Cal, meanwhile, looks at the ground, probably thinking that he should have just stayed home and did some laundry or something. “If he dies I’ll never find my daughter,” Charles says quietly to Cal. When Cal doesn’t offer a response, Charles grabs him by the shirt collar and looks ready to pummel him. Garvey stops the physical part of the altercation, but Charles asks Cal why he shot Busby. Cal just says “I’m sorry.”

At this moment Harriet barges in looking for Mr. Taylor. Doc Baker yells out “Not now, Mrs. Oleson,” probably because there’s enough dramarama happening in his office without her getting involved. Harriet apologizes for the intrusion, but goes on to describe the bizarre transaction that just took place with Heloise. “She was so strange,” she says, “she said that Ellen brought her some flowers yesterday.” This catches everyone’s attention.

Down in the root cellar, Mama Taylor is lighting the candles on a tasty looking cake. Wait; there are only ten candles, maybe eleven, on that cake. There certainly aren’t twelve. After she lights the last candle, Mama Taylor tells Laura Ellen to make a wish before she blows out the candles. Laura thinks for a moment and then suggests that if they both close their eyes they will both get a wish. Heloise politely refuses, saying that it’s Laura Ellen’s birthday, but Laura replies, “I want you to have a wish too...mama.” I think Laura could have an excellent career in psychology, if only modern psychology wasn’t twenty-five years away from being established. Heloise thinks about this, has another Ellen hallucination and decides to make a wish. Once Mama Taylor closes her eyes to think of her wish, Laura makes a run for it. Run, Laura, run!

Once outside, Laura makes a dash for the hilly wooden area but keeps losing her footing. Mama Taylor eventually catches up with her in a spot marked by a little wooden cross. Oh, jeez, they’re at Ellen’s grave. Really, show? Laura’s had enough of Mama Taylor’s dementia and keeps saying she’s Laura. Heloise is still immersed in the denial phase and keeps screaming “No!” After two or three rounds of this, Laura screams out “Ellen’s dead!” This catches Mama Taylor’s attention. Laura points out that they are at Ellen’s grave and it finally sinks in for Heloise. She realizes what mistakes she has made and hugs Laura. Laura reminds her that God can help her if she just gives him a chance. Here are a few hints for Heloise: don’t throw Bibles at people of the cloth and don’t try to assimilate other people’s children. That’ll probably move you through God’s queue a little faster.

As Mama Taylor contemplates the universe a bit at the grave, we can hear a wagon driving by. Laura looks over and notices that it is the search party, including her Pa. She runs over to the wagon and rejoins her father. She says she is fine and that Mrs. Taylor is okay and by the grave. Cal walks over to join his wife in the final phase: acceptance.

Later on we see Laura cutting through the Busby fence with a big smile on her face. She runs over to the shack to check in with Mr. Busby. She hands him the book for him to keep. I guess he was the Boo Radley of Walnut Grove. Or maybe Lenny without the rabbits. Either way, Laura says she wants to be his friend and he seems to appreciate it. Aww.

My Ellen 4/5

Mary is running from the school over to the mill. Pa asks why she isn’t at school and Mary says Miss Beadle let her go to try to find where Laura might be. She recaps her last encounter with Laura and that she was last seen cutting across the Busby place. Pa and Mr. Garvey share a worried glance. Aside from a couple of peeping Tom kids, what’s the big deal with the Busby place, anyway? Pa says Laura knows better than that and Mr. Garvey suggests that maybe Laura is still visiting with Mrs. Taylor. Pa sends Mary back to school and he and Jonathan go to the Taylor homestead to check things out.

Mama Taylor peeks through the window and sees Garvey’s wagon approaching. Surprisingly, this scene is filmed like an episode of Cops. Charles calls from the wagon asking if Laura has stopped by to visit. Heloise lies and says Laura hasn’t been there. Charles accepts this and decides to move on to the Busby place. Oh good, maybe now we’ll see what the problem is there.

We see Ellen’s slate and the flowers on the ground and a guy squatting nearby reading The House That Jack Built. The guy looks to be in his thirties, but given how riveted he is by the book he may not necessarily be functioning as a thirty-something. He sees the wagon approaching and decides to run and hide. Charles and Mr. Garvey hop off the wagon and run up to the nearby shack, barging in the front door calling out for Busby. Charles frantically says he is going to check out the creek while Jonathan calmly says he’ll keep watch near the shack. He speculates that Laura might already be back at school. That is until he spots the flowers and slate on the ground. Charles checks out the items and determines that they are Laura’s.

Back at the Taylor house, Heloise climbs down to the cellar and hands Laura a dress. “Put this on,” she requests. Laura asks to be let go but Heloise repeats her request. Laura takes the dress (or else she gets the hose again) and starts to change clothes. Mama Taylor starts walking around and talking about how much she loved the root cellar when she was a child. She lights a lantern as she recalls having wonderful dreams when she slept in the root cellar. She turns to look at Laura and asks her to come into the light. Out walks a blonde child and for a minute I thought she gave Laura a Hannah Montana wig along with the dress. No, it’s just another hallucination. Or is it a delusion? Either way: tres creepy. Back in reality, Laura is just sort of standing there uncertain of what to do next as Heloise walks over and starts petting Laura’s head. Mama Taylor then takes Laura’s pigtails and unravels the braids. “Oh Ellen, my beautiful Ellen.” Laura tries to correct Mrs. Taylor, but the crazy lady tells her “No, say ‘I love you, Mama.’” Laura just looks at her, so Mama Taylor repeats her instructions. Remember Furby? Laura sort of looks like one with her hair down and this scene is exactly like trying to teach your Furby how to talk, crazy eyes and all. After a beat, Laura stammers out “I love you, Mama,” and gets a big hug from Heloise. She makes Laura Ellen promise to never leave her. This would be the “Stockholm Syndrome” phase of the grief process.

Back in town, Charles and Mr. Garvey have organized a search party at the Mercantile. As the posse heads out, Cal Taylor walks up to Mr. Garvey and Nels and offers his assistance. Mr. Taylor brought a rifle with him and Mr. Garvey says that won’t be necessary. “Maybe, maybe not,” says Cal. “All I know is my daughter drowned. A good swimmer, but she drowned.” So the gun would have kept her from drowning? I’m not following his logic. The posse ends up combing the Busby land but they’re having no luck. Charles suggests getting lanterns since dusk is approaching, but Mr. Garvey is fairly sure that nighttime searching won’t bring about results. He tells Charles to go home and they can resume the search in the morning. Charles reluctantly agrees and ends up hitching a ride with Cal. Before they depart, Cal reminds Charles that he knows how he must feel but at least Mr. Ingalls has hope. He also says that Ellen’s twelfth birthday would be tomorrow. You know what sucks about grief duels? No one wins.

Night has fallen by the time Charles gets back to the homestead. Caroline opens the door for him and the two hug as Mary watches from the doorway. Cal watches this play out and he looks a bit sadder when he alerts the houses to get a move on.

My Ellen 1/5

Carrie is running through a field with her sisters and their friend Ellen as this episode opens. Carrie manages to stay upright, though not running downhill probably helps. The girls eventually reach the Taylor homestead and Ellen gives her Ma a hug. Mama Taylor surmises that since Ellen is so excited when she arrived, she must be super excited to do her chores. Ooo, and if she behaves herself, Santa might let her roll pennies. Ellen clarifies her good mood by telling her Ma that the “Ingall [sic] girls are going swimming” and she has been invited to join them. Ma sort of hems and haws and asks if Ellen did well in school today. Laura chimes in that Ellen did better than Mary. Way to oversell, Half-pint. Mama Taylor tells Ellen to be home before dark. The girls run off, leaving Carrie in the dust again. The youngest Ingalls girl asks “Don’t we ever walk anywhere?”

As they run down the road to the swimming hole, Laura suggests cutting through a fenced in area. Mary reminds her that Pa said not to do that and that she’ll tell if Laura does it anyway. “You would, too,” Laura responds. Her words, not mine, honest. Laura rejoins her sisters and friend and takes the long way to the water. The camera then zooms in on a boy watching the girls through some bushes. That usually means trouble.

We rejoin the girls at the swimming hole and they are already in the deep water, splashing and having a good time. We then see a couple of heads pop up from above the crest of the hill. Oh, it’s the boy from earlier and his little brother. They’re just peeping. I’m not condoning the activity; it just could have been a lot worse. The younger boy notices that one of the girls is getting out of the water. “Never mind,” he says, “it’s only Carrie.” This scene is so wrong. The boys decide to sneak down for a closer look. They find a better vantage point behind some brush about two-thirds of the way down the hill. After about fifteen seconds of watching, the boys hear Carrie ask “WHATCHA DOIN?” Busted! The younger kid lies and says they’re fishing. “WHAT ARE YOU FISHING WITH?” Carrie asks. The boys stammer that they are looking for pole-making supplies, but Carrie, who is wrapped in a towel, tries to help. “LAURA HAS AN EXTRA POLE HIDDEN AROUND HERE SHE’LL LOAN IT TO YOU LAUUUUUURRRRRRAAAAA THERE’S SOME BOYS HERE THAT WANNA SEE YOU.” The other girls look over and scream, realizing they’ve just been peeped on. They dive underwater until the hill near the coast is clear.

Soon after, Laura and Mary pop up near the marshier part of the watering hole. They check to see if the boys are still there and look around a bit before Laura sees them running away. It should be noted that the boys appear to be running in a desert. But besides that, how is Laura able to see them when she is downhill and several hundred yards away? Anyway, Laura decides that they should get dressed and leave. Mary agrees and yells for Ellen. The girls look around as Mary calls out for her, but there is no response. Mary Ingalls sucks at Marco Polo. Laura wonders if Ellen is trying to play a trick, but I’m not that optimistic.

Neither is the search-and-rescue party that has assembled that night. There are a couple of boats floating around, one with a guy casting a net onto the water. Laura and Mary are wrapped in blankets, watching the scene unfold with Caroline by their side. Ellen’s parents are also standing nearby and are holding onto a torch and hope. After a few moments someone calls out that they found something. It’s Ellen.

We rejoin Laura and Mary, dressed in their Sunday best, listening to Reverend Alden’s eulogy. To review the last six minutes: Opening credits, school’s out, swimming, peeping, drowning, and now a funeral. This episode must have a hot date because it’s not wasting any time. Once the Reverend concludes his remarks, Mama Taylor throws herself on the coffin. Mr. Taylor manages to pull his wife off the pine box and escorts her away. They pass Mary and Laura and Mama Taylor stops. She looks Laura right in the eye and says “You did this. It was you. Well it was! She was always asking my Ellen to go swimmin’. If it hadn’t been for you, Ellen would be home with me.” She starts to wail and is taken away as Laura bursts into tears. Charles and Doc Baker share a glance, recognizing that this is just the grief talking. Reverend Alden, on the other hand, walks over and doesn’t bother trying to console Laura and gives her a look that says “she sort of has a point.” First: No she doesn’t. Second: Way to do your job, Alden.

Sylvia 9/10

The next day the Ingalls men and Mr. Webb have formed a posse to look for Sylvia. I know back in those days a posse was the most efficient way to track down someone, but it amazes me that anyone has ever been found with the method. We see that Sylvia has found shelter in a dilapidated barn of some sort and it just so happens that it is the first place Albert looks. See, how does that work? Sylvia calls out to Albert and he runs over to hug her. Sylvia does not want to go back home, even after Albert assures her that Mr. Webb isn't going to try to shoot Albert in the face any more. For some reason her face is all dirty and it looks like she has a five o’clock shadow. She goes on another “I love you” soliloquy, which is much like the other three or four that she or Albert have already given, so I’m not going to transcribe it again. Blah blah blah, I love you, blah blah blah, hugging.

Albert agrees not to return Sylvia and decides that the two of them should run away. Yeah, the rest of your posse won’t catch on to that until at least sundown. As they hug yet again, Albert notices that Sylvia is freezing and runs off to get her a blanket. He also grabs some food for her. What a gentleman. He gives her a kiss before he leaves again to get eloping supplies. As he leaves, Sylvia says I love you again. Man, Caroline totally called the superficial nature of this relationship, didn’t she? Albert rides away and rejoins his father and Mr. Webb. He lies about not finding Sylvia. Mr. Webb decides to check back at home, Charles is going to check the farms in town while Albert volunteers to check with the businesses in town. They agree to meet up at the Olesons’.

Albert’s first stop is the livery stable, but no one is in. Albert realizes he has an opportunity and begins to rummage through Hartwig’s desk. He pulls out a cashbox and grabs some money along with a piece of paper. He starts to write a note to Hartwig but before he can reach the verb of his first sentence Hartwig enters the room. Mr. Hartwig sees what’s going on and accuses Albert of stealing. Albert tries to defend it as a prematurely approved loan, but Hartwig still calls it stealing. Albert goes on about how badly he needs the money, but when Hartwig asks what for, Albert says he can’t say. Hartwig starts to drag Albert away so he can tell Charles what is going down, but Albert decides to spill the beans instead. He tells Hartwig everything: the marriage plans, that Sylvia is at the old Atkins place, the fact that Albert was going to ask for an advance instead of pursuing the prematurely approved loan. Hartwig isn’t sure he wants to be an accessory to whatever Albert has planned, but the kid convinces him that no one will ever know his involvement. Hartwig agrees and offers to saddle and feed Albert’s horse and provide another horse as well. That’s...awfully generous for someone who just seconds ago didn’t want a part of what was going down. Albert is grateful as he leaves the stable to gather supplies back at the homestead.