The Wolves 5/5

The kids are still holed up in the barn. Laura asks Mary how long they’ve been waiting and she replies, “a couple of hours.” Carrie says she’s hungry (or “hungwee” as she says it) but Mary says it is too dark outside to tell if the dogs are gone. Laura hears a rustling sound outside so Mary goes to investigate. Mary can hear the sound but she can’t find the source. A dog barks behind Mary and she sees that one of the dogs is trying to dig under the wall. Seriously? Did the kids bathe in meat that morning or something?

The sound of the dog pack freaking out starts up again, so Mary decides to move up to the loft. Except that the ladder is now next to Laura’s treehouse. Oops. Mary spots a table and uses it to climb up to the loft. As the kids struggle to climb, the injured mama wolf starts to paw at her muzzle. The dogs are now working at three separate points around the perimeter trying to dig in. This is dumb. Before Andy climbs up he decides that the pups need to go up to the loft. Meanwhile, Old Yeller and Rin Tin Tin are almost done with their holes. As the mama wolf works on her muzzle, the kids are trying to get Bandit up to the loft. Bandit is not a fan of this change of elevation but doesn’t put up much of a fight. Andy gets up into the loft just as a dog gets through the wall and mama wolf gets off her muzzle (uh, “Muzzle Fail”). As soon as Andy turns around he and Mary get a front row seat for the dogfight. Judging by their faces, the dog they bet on isn’t winning. At this point the entire pack has infiltrated the barn. Wait a minute, that’s not a wolf – that’s the Shaggy Dog! Is this episode an allegory for gangs or something? Boooooo!

Mary rejoins the other kids in the corner of the loft. She hugs Carrie and tells her everything is going to be alright. Andy wishes his Pa would come looking for him, which causes Laura to wonder what will happen if no one comes for them. Weren’t Charles and Caroline only supposed to be gone for a couple of days? They should be back soon I would think. Mary has a better idea: “Bandit knows the way to Andy’s house. Maybe he could get Mr. Garvey!” First, Bandit is not Lassie (who may or may not be part of the “wolf” pack down below. Second, Bandit is not a carrier pigeon. What’s great about this is that Bandit’s head is resting on Laura’s arm in a way that makes it look like Bandit is thinking “I need to talk to my agent about getting me on a show with scripts that aren’t stupid.” Laura resists the idea and I could swear I just saw Bandit roll his eyes. I think I understand why Charles and Caroline left town for this episode.

Mary stands up and opens a chute just above Laura’s head. Laura tells her dog that he is their only hope. The girls send the dog outside and it starts bounding towards the hills. Benji, who is keeping watch outside the compound sees Bandit and starts to chase after him. Oh good, not only is this entire premise preposterous, the filming is poorly conceived as well. It’s that point after dusk where it is more dark than light and the dogs are running through an area with trees. In other words, there’s not enough natural light to light the scene but there is just enough light to cast shadows everywhere. Anyway, the chase is on but Bandit has a plan. He puts his Bugs Bunny skills to work and runs into a hollow log. Benji follows but gets stuck while Bandit (the larger dog) gets out the other side. Whatever, show: check-minus.

Over at the Garvey farm Jonathan is tying up his horse in the stable. He notices the wolves are gone and runs into the house. Alice hears Jonathan come in and mentions that he is late. Jonathan asks where Andy is but Alice thought he was with her husband. Jonathan asks if Larabee or anyone else has been lurking around but Alice hasn’t seen anyone. At this point Bandit walks in with a pretty bad gash on his leg. Jonathan takes a look at the dog and realizes that trouble is a-brewin’ at the ol’ Ingalls place.

While Jonathan is in the barn hitching up his horse, at a pace not quite as urgent a few moments ago, Larabee arrives. He has a couple of thugs with guns and says they need to continue the discussion from earlier. Jonathan says he’s a little preoccupied with his son and the Ingalls girls being in possible danger. He invites Larabee and company to tag along or get out of his way. The camera zooms in on Larabee for no real reason.

Meanwhile at the dog shelter, the canines are milling about on the ground floor while the asinines are grousing in the loft. Then the yuppie dog from Best in Show decides it’s time to hop onto the table and climb into the loft. My guess is Carrie is made of jerky. Mary grabs a sandbag and starts swinging at the dogs trying to leap up. It’s going fine until one of the dogs grabs the bag in its teeth. Mary Ingalls sucks at whac-a-mole. She grabs a pitchfork, but just before things get gruesome or hilarious Jonathan kicks in the door and the thugs start firing shots. After eight shots are fired Jonathan hops up into view and asks if the kids are alright. Larabee also pops into view and sees Andy hugging Jonathan as the kid whimpers about the mama wolf saving his life. Jonathan turns to give Larabee an “I told you so” glare. Shut up, Jonathan. Mary is crying in the corner.

The next day, Jonathan, Laura, and Andy set the pups free. They talk about what the deal was with the dogs from last night. Jonathan’s theory was that the dogs used to be good family dogs but their masters didn’t love them. So it is an allegory. Booooo!