Annabelle 1/5

A pied piper is leading the children of Walnut Grove through a field. Oh dear, what sort of grim fairy tale is about to unfold here? Did Mrs. Oleson refuse to pay someone for rat removal? Oh, Billy Barty is in this episode. That must mean the circus is in town. Hey! It’s Ken Berry! You see, I think Ken Berry would probably be a nice guy in real life, but he has made some really bad career decisions. Aside from Mama’s Family, he was also in that stupid backdoor pilot episode of the Brady Bunch with the couple that adopts a dozen or so kids of different ethnicities. The Brady Bunch and the politics of race do not mix, though that episode was one of the few times any people of color were on the show, so I guess it deserves props for that. What was I talking about?

Oh right, the circus. Anyway, Ken Berry channels his inner Willy Wonka and tells the kids to “keep up with London.” One of the kids, probably Willie, asks if his last name is “Bridges”. No, he’s like Prince, Madonna, or Cher (if she could turn back time, that is) and goes by just London. Laura asks “London, England or London, Ontario?” I don’t understand the question, but he dismisses it with a “neither one.” He then goes on to describe his creation myth where he sprung fully formed from Emmitt Kelly’s head on some random hillside. Laura then asks how much they can earn. Her questions are really coming out of nowhere today. He answers that “to all of those who pitch in and do their darndest: a freshly washed, unbelievably shiny nickel.” The kids “ooh” and “aah” at this. London’s also going to throw in a ticket to the show. Hmm, his inner Wonka does not seem bent on annihilating these children. Boring.

London leads the drove of kids to the circus tent where they get set to work. After a few of the tasks are completed, London compliments them on how hard they are working. He says he’ll send a good word to Mr. Oleson, causing Willie to brownnose that he can tell his Pa for London. London asks Willie to tell Nels that he won’t be able to make it into town for the circus parade but that he will see him later with a few good words about his “progeny”. Willie says he’ll deliver the message then asks Laura what “progeny” means. “It’s you,” she tells him. He surmises that if it is about him, it can’t be good.

Send in the sad clowns. The town is lined up along the central dirt patch in town to watch the circus parade. There’s a band, a clown on stilts, an elephant, a fat lady, the whole magilla. There’s a shot of Harriet overjoyed as she points at a unicyclist in the distance. Nels walks over to the sad clown/grand marshal and welcomes him to Walnut Grove. He asks where London is and the clown pantomimes that he went off drinking and then stumbled off for a nap. The crowd gets a kick out of this, but Nels is a bit confused. Don’t be a fuddy duddy, Oleson. Nels tells the clown to spread the word that there’s a huge spread over at the restaurant for the circus to enjoy. Harriet then points out the fat lady and makes some sort of snide remark, en Francais. Nels glances over and a look of horror crosses his face. Harriet makes a few more classless comments as Nels runs into the Mercantile.

We rejoin Nels as he sits on his bed. Harriet enters the room to check her makeup and asks her husband what’s wrong. He tries to parry the question and is mostly successful as Harriet tells him he should head over to the restaurant since the circus people will be there. Nels claims to have stomach trouble, but Harriet tells him it’s just nerves as she adjusts her dress in the mirror. Harriet looks over and sees that Nels doesn’t even have his tie tied and she gives him a pep talk as she fixes him up. She finishes the talk by reminding him of how much money is at stake. You know, it was a nice moment those two were having before her miserly ways kicked back in. She mentions that there were dozens of people who haven’t been in the Mercantile in ages, causing Nels to suggest that maybe he should work at the store during lunch. He’s deflecting for some reason, but I don’t think it’s “clownophobia”.

Billy Barty escorts the large lady into the restaurant. Nels is hiding out in the kitchen while Caroline loads the plates for service. Laura enters and announces that the sad clown from earlier has arrived. She’s loading up a plate as she talks about how the clown can’t talk in real life. Caroline muses about how he has made the most of his situation as she watches Laura pile scoop after scoop of mashed potatoes onto the plate. Laura says it is for the fat lady. Contrary to popular belief, not all fat people are eating machines, Laura. Caroline suggests that Laura serve a normal helping and that seconds are available if anybody wants them. Nels sheepishly announces that he should go into the dining room. What has him so skittish?

Nels enters the dining room and the only performer to notice is the fat lady. She tries to say something as Nels walks by but he doesn’t even notice. He is really failing at being a maitre d’ this afternoon. He joins Harriet at the table by the window who asks where he’s been the whole time. He claims to have been supervising the kitchen to make sure everything is hunky-dory. Willie walks by with a plate of food. He explains to his mother that it is a tall order. Huh? The fat lady (is she Annabelle? I really don’t want to keep calling her “fat lady”) looks over at the Olesons’ table and appears to give Harriet the evil eye. Harriet makes a starving elephant comparison and Nels decides that he forgot something at the store. The fat lady watches him leave the restaurant. Meanwhile, Willie’s working the upstairs drive-thru and hands the plate to the clown on stilts. Oh, “tall order”. Ha.