Sylvia 10/10

Albert is putting the finishing touches of his goodbye note right before he places it on the mantle. Meanwhile, Charles and Mr. Webb are outside the mercantile as Mrs. Oleson sweeps the porch. No one Charles has checked with has seen Albert except for Harriet who saw the kid about fifteen minutes earlier. She tells them that he was riding out of town towards the Ingalls’ place, so they decide to head out that way as well. As they race down the trail, they miss Albert who is hiding behind a tree. Albert runs into town back to the livery, but he finds the door locked. Charles is at the homestead and finds the note Albert left. After reading the note, the two men try to figure out where Sylvia could be. Since Albert didn’t know her whereabouts the night before, he must have found her that day. Mr. Webb recalls that they split up twice. Charles realizes she must be at the Atkins’ place, since that was Albert’s location after the second split.

Sylvia is sleeping in her hidey hole at the Atkins farm. The door creaks open and somebody much taller and lankier than Albert creeps in. Whoever it is takes slow, deliberate steps across fallen kindling and tree bark towards the sleeping girl. After the twentieth crack of wood and twigs, Sylvia rises and expects to see Albert. IT’S THE MIME!!!!! He tries to grab Sylvia, but she ducks, grabs a two by four and hits the guy in the arm, knocking him off balance. Run Sylvia! Oh, she tripped on the wood scraps. Damn petticoats. The mime takes off his askew mask and...it’s Mr. Hartwig! He runs over to the door to block Sylvia’s exit. She runs over to a ladder and starts climbing. He puts one hand on the ladder and I swear I think he’s about to knock the ladder over. Instead, he starts to climb. As he steps on the first rung, Albert jumps on Hartwig’s back and they start to wrestle. Sylvia is now at the top of the ladder but has nowhere to go from there. As she tries to reach for a rafter, the rung supporting Sylvia snaps and she falls about 30 feet to the ground. Hartwig glances over towards Sylvia then grabs a two by four to brain Albert with. Before he can swing, a gun goes off and Hartwig falls to the ground. Good shot Mr. Webb.

Albert sees Sylvia is unconscious by the ladder and he crawls over to her, his drooping lip wavering. He starts whimpering as Mr. Webb and Charles look on. “I’ll get Doc Baker,” Pa says and runs out of the barn. The camera then focuses on the fallen mime mask.

That evening at the Webb house, Doc Baker exits Sylvia’s room and reports that the patient would like to see Albert. Albert walks slowly to the bed and sits by Sylvia’s side. Sylvia reports that she fell and asks Albert if she is going to die. Albert says she isn’t and that she and her pa won’t be leaving after all. I guess raping the daughter of the homeowner causes an escrow issue at closing. Not to be all Scooby-Doo about this, but given the plot elements of this story, did Hartwig rape Sylvia as a means to acquire the Webb property?

Sylvia can’t believe everything that happened and she asks if they can still get married. “When you’re up to it,” Albert replies. “I wish we can have a church wedding,” Sylvia says. Albert asks why not, causing Sylvia to hem and haw and say “ya know...” Please do not try to play charades here, kids. They start reciting their wedding dreams and I slowly lose interest. She finishes with a “kiss me, my love” and then they make out. Her eyes close and it is a little unclear if she just died or if she simply fell asleep. Seeing as how we don’t hear about her ever again, I’m guessing it is the former. We then get a replay of the slo-mo smooch from their first date and the episode ends.