Goodbye, Mrs. Wilder 1/5

1981 – Mrs. Oleson’s constant interference prompts Laura to quit as Walnut Grove’s teacher.

Sorry for the extended hiatus, folks. Like I mentioned earlier, February is the craziest month of the year for me and unfortunately this project had to take a backseat for a while. The good news is I am mostly back and ready to work. Let me just say that this episode is…appropriate for now. Enjoy!

Wagons are circling outside of the school as we zoom in on the building’s front door. I’m guessing this is going to be a school heavy episode. Laura is quizzing the kids about New York City geography. That’s useful information, I suppose, if one of the kids invents game shows. I dunno, it is almost like quizzing kids about the neighborhoods of London – it’s only useful if you end up going there. Laura asks if any of the kids can name one of the five major areas of the city. Hilde raises her hand and guesses “Manhattan”. Before she can advance to the lightning round, Willie shoots a spitball at a kid sitting behind Hilde. Laura glares at Willie, who remarks “I didn’t do nothin’.” “Anything!” Laura angrily corrects. “I didn’t do that neither,” he replies. The class laughs, then Willie asks why they need to learn about NYC. “In case you go anywhere outside Minnesota you’ll have something besides total ignorance to take with you.” For some reason Albert finds this funny and starts laughing.

Laura moves on to the lightning round and asks Hilde if she can name the other four areas. Hilde declines the offer, as do the rest of her classmates. Laura testily gives out the answer then asks what the designation is for those five areas. Meanwhile, Willie preps another spitwad. Laura catches him before he fires and asks if he knows the answer. Willie says he doesn’t know and Laura informs him they are called boroughs. “I thought ‘boroughs’ were some kind of a donkey,” he replies, playing(?) dumb. The class laughs again, frustrating Laura further. She writes on the board the two different spellings of borough/burro, to which Willie responds with hee-haw sounds. Laura sends Willie to the corner.

Laura continues the lesson by talking about the Brooklyn Bridge. She asks which borough is on the non-Manhattan side of the bridge. Laura is met with glazed eyes. “It’s called the Brooklyn Bridge,” she snarls. “Does anyone find it logical that it might be connected to Brooklyn?” You know, maybe the class didn’t want to acknowledge the insult to their intelligence by answering such an inane question.

Oh cripes, Mrs. Oleson is wandering in. She has a gentleman guest with her, but she seems more concerned about Willie being in the corner than introducing the man. Laura tells Willie to sit down as his mother nervously chuckles. Mrs. Oleson then introduces Mr. Stoeler, a member of the State Board of Education. Oh, geez. If the Minnesota Board operates at all like the Walnut Grove Board this school is going to be in a lot of trouble. Mrs. Oleson goes on to explain that he is visiting to give an evaluation of the school for the School Improvement Program. If the evaluation goes well, the school might be able to get some grant money for renovations and supplies. Mr. Stoeler tells Laura that he will be sitting in to see how the class is doing. Ooo, bad timing for that. Laura asks the class another random-ass question to which no one responds.

We see Almanzo arriving home from work. He enters the house and announces his arrival. Laura is so not in the mood and tells him not to cause such a ruckus. Manly asks Laura about her day. “I had the kind of day that makes me wonder why I ever wanted to be a teacher in the first place,” she rants. “What makes otherwise intelligent students suddenly become rude, unruly, and stupid?” Now wait just a minute, Mrs. Wilder. The best teachers I have had were the type that inspired me to learn. Rote Q&A is not all that inspirational, nor is the snoring that would happen if the unruly kids didn’t act up and keep everyone else awake. I hope that wasn’t too rude. Put another way, the kids aren’t fully to blame, half-pint. Manly tries to be sympathetic as Laura annihilates the peas she is snapping. She goes on to rant about Mrs. Oleson and her constant meddling. Almanzo suggests that Laura take a break, but apparently Mrs. Oleson called an emergency meeting of the school board. Manly reads the room and decides to go tend to the horses while Laura pulls out a giant knife to cut some parsley. I hope she doesn’t bring the knife to the meeting.

This week’s school board is composed of Nels, Harriet, Charles, Doc Baker, and a couple of townies who are there for quorum. Harriet is arguing that the school is not meeting state standards and unless the curriculum is updated the school will not get their basic assistance grant. Laura asks what Mr. Stoeler disliked and Mrs. Oleson explains that education is no longer about the three R’s. Charles asks what should be added to the curriculum. Art appreciation and French top the list, which Nels is dumbstruck by. Harriet is also concerned that there is no real dress code in the school. “Some of the children come to school looking like common little beggars,” she says bluntly. You know Harriet, unless you plan on supporting Willie for the rest of your days there is a strong likelihood that you’ll have a common little beggar associated with the Oleson name. Just a heads up.

Anyway, Laura is not only offended by Harriet’s classism but the mere idea of covering art appreciation and French is just too overwhelming. Harriet offers to tutor Laura, but Laura is more concerned about the students learning the essentials. I have to agree, though my humanities-loving heart is aching a bit. Mrs. Oleson is digging in her heels, claiming that if other schools can do it, Walnut Grove can do it. Laura points out that other schools have more than one teacher, which Harriet interprets as weakness on Laura’s part that she can’t handle an extended schedule. Charles intervenes, pointing out that the future farmers and wives of farmers probably won’t need French. Nels agrees, adding that the idea of Willie taking on two extra courses would cause him to be in school the rest of his life. Bwah! Oh, Nels, never change.

Laura agrees with Nels’ point, saying it would be too much for any student. “Well,” starts Harriet, who is approaching maximum huffiness, “properly taught I’m sure that they could manage.” Surprisingly, Laura does not flip the bitch switch, though she is thinking about it. Mrs. Oleson also reminds the room that she has a teaching certificate and that she would have been an international star of the teaching world had she not married Nels. Keep it classy, Harriet, you’re doing great so far.

After questioning Laura’s credentials, Harriet moves for a vote on the curriculum. Nels abstains, but the townies and Harriet vote for the change. Laura is disappointed, but asks Mrs. Oleson for reassurance that one teacher can handle the workload. Harriet chuckles a positive response. “Good,” Laura says while flipping the switch, “because I quit. Ladies and gentlemen meet your new school teacher.” She storms out and the rest of the board slowly follows her out the door. Harriet remains standing at the desk.