Little Women 5/5

All the parents are gathered in the schoolhouse as Willie and the Ants prepare for their skit outside. And by prepare I mean the Ants are ready to kill Willie for not bringing the tobacco products like he promised. Willie claims it isn’t his fault his dad caught him, but the Ants think that he was bluffing the whole time. An in-depth “did not”/“did so” debate ensues. The episode must have come in a little short this week. Meanwhile, Ginny peeks inside to see if her Ma is in the audience. It looks like Ginny doesn’t see her, so she sulks as she rejoins the Ingalls girls who are watching Willie’s fight. Laura tells Ginny her mom will show up as Mary fiddles with Ginny’s bonnet. As the girls talk about their readiness, Nellie arrives wearing her New Jan Brady wig. She even has a red bow in her hair. Before everyone can make fun of the wig, Miss Beadle comes outside to see if everyone is ready. She tells Willie he is up first and tells everyone to do their best.

Inside, Miss Beadle welcomes the parents and introduces the first play: Tom Sawyer. The audience applauds as Miss Beadle waits for Willie to come on stage. When he doesn’t show up, she runs outside to see what the hold up is. She reaches the doorway and gasps. In walks Willie completely covered in whitewash. Everyone in the audience, except Harriet, finds this hysterically funny. Nels isn’t too impressed either, especially when Willie blames him for this embarrassment. He takes his son outside to clean up and the audience is still cracking up. As the Oleson men walk out, Mr. Mayfield and Ma Clark walk in and take a seat.

Once the laughter dies down, Miss Beadle introduces the next play: Little Women. The cast is introduced, starting with Nellie as Suzanne Pleshette as Meg. Mr. Edwards takes one look at her and starts cracking up again. He stops when he realizes he is the only one laughing. Once the cast is assembled on stage, Nellie starts things off by giving Harriet a shout out and then introducing the scene. Okay, having wooden actors play wooden actors is a sight to behold and Nellie and Mary do a fantastic job of this. Also, as Harriet watches she mouths the dialogue. I don’t think the double woodenness is intentional on Little House’s part, especially if you compare it to something like this which is intentional, but I’m enjoying it.

Anyway, the writing is pretty bad, as all of the extended dialogue is literally sent back to Meg (“let Meg tell you”) and there are a number of declarative statements. As for the plot, Jo (played by Ginny) somehow got a wad of cash and Meg asks how she earned the money. Meg removes Jo’s bonnet and we see that Jo must have sold her hair. Only Ginny actually cut her hair. Eh, I’m not really a method actor and I’m a little surprised Ginny went that route – she doesn’t seem like the type. Actually, it turns out she sold her hair to the wig man so she could buy the dress for Ma Clark. Aww. Ma Clark is overwhelmed with emotion and runs over to hug Ginny. Nellie gets pissy about being upstaged, but Miss Beadle tells Nellie to be quiet (hehe) and says the play is over, leading to a round of applause.

After the performances, Ginny runs over to hug Mr. Mayfield and asks if he liked the show. He says he liked it and he likes her hair. Ma Clark agrees. Aww. Caroline asks her daughters if they’re interested in going on stage ever again. Laura says maybe, so long as she doesn’t have to work with Nellie again. Sorry, half-pint, there will always be at least one Nellie Oleson in any stage production. Mary also says maybe, but she likes the drama of real life more. Mary Ingalls sucks at suspension of disbelief. Mary and her parents watch as Mr. Mayfield and the Clarks ride off. And scene.