The Raccoon 3/5

The family is gathered in the common room doing their nightly routine. Caroline takes Carrie to bed as the other girls are at the table finishing homework. Pa hears some scratching at the door and lets Jack in. The dog jumps on the table and Charles pulls him off and starts to play with him. Charles asks Laura where she was all day and she replies that she was looking for Jasper. She’s holding out hope that the raccoon will come back, but Pa tells her that maybe the animal has decided to stay in the woods. Pa tries to console Laura by pointing out that Jack is still there, but she blames the dog for all of her current woes. “It wasn’t Jack’s fault,” Mary interrupts, “Jasper bit him!” Mary Ingalls sucks at lies of omission. Laura calls her on this, but Pa intercedes to find out the whole story. Mary spills the beans and Charles tells the younger daughter that the raccoon could have ripped Jack to shreds. He continues by saying that this resolution is probably the best for all involved. The girls finish their homework in a pouty fashion.

Later that night, we see a raccoon sneaking into the henhouse. Jack is on the case and starts barking. I think the dog has had more lines of dialogue in this episode than Carrie had in the entire series. Anyway, the barking wakes up the girls and the sound of chickens getting mutilated wakes up Ma and Pa. Judging by the lack of wardrobe for Charles I think he and Caroline may have been up to something. Either that or Michael Landon felt the stupidity of the plot should be balanced out by some beefy man-chest action. He goes to the barn to investigate. After lighting a lantern, Charles notices some rustling in the loft. He goes to the ladder and then the camerawork gets all horror movie-like. When he gets midway up the ladder, about the point where his head would be above the base of the loft, a raccoon lunges at Pa’s face. Charles falls to the ground, but quickly gets up and grabs a pitchfork. As he makes quick work of the raccoon, the rest of the family runs out to see what’s going on. Charles notices them and tells Caroline and the kids to go back inside. Laura lingers until he tells her to go with her mother.

Back inside, Caroline is cradling a weeping Laura on the parents’ bed. Charles describes what happens as “sorrowful” and then tries to claim self-defense. Laura blames herself for what happened since she kept giving Jasper eggs. Mary is making her Kathy Selden face as she watches the scene unfold. Charles explains to Laura that raccoons have been harassing chickens for years, but Laura starts wailing “you were right!” Oh, to be eight again.

We now see Charles back in the barn wearing gloves and slowly stroking Jack’s head. Caroline comes in and starts to approach Charles, but he tells her to stay back. Uh oh, the raccoon had Rabies and Charles discovered that the bite Jack received broke the skin. The dog is now in quarantine in the barn.

The next morning Mary is going about her chores when she hears Jack yelping in the barn. She sees that the dog is tied up and goes to let him loose. I guess someone forgot to bring up at breakfast that the family dog might be rabid. Charles enters the barn just as Mary starts to work on the knot and he explains the situation. Mary starts to freak out since she knows Laura’s deep, dark, “my pet bit me” secret. She asks Pa through her tears if people can get Rabies from a bite and when he replies affirmatively, she hugs Pa and starts weeping. Mary finally tells Pa that Jasper bit Laura and starts doing that weeping/babbling thing that supposedly builds up the dramarama. This entire exchange is filmed in extreme close-up of Mary, which reveals one thing: Mary Ingalls sucks at crying.