Fight, Team, Fight 5/5

Doc Baker is bandaging up Albert in the office. We can hear the game continuing outside and Albert is getting antsy about the action he is missing. Charles tells the boy to hold still while Doc Baker says the kid is lucky that he didn't suffer a punctured lung. He goes on to say that Albert should have left the game as soon as he started hurting. Albert says that he wanted to but Ellerbee used his Svengali powers to convince the boy that all he wanted was to win. Ma and Pa share a worried glance as Doc Baker bumper stickers "winning's fine, but it ain't worth much if you're not around for the victory party." The doc then advises Albert to pay attention to pain more often as it is usually a sign that trouble is a-brewing. Once Doc Baker is finished Caroline helps her son get dressed as Charles laments the situation. Albert asks if he can watch the rest of the game but Caroline says no. Albert pleads, saying that he should still support his team even though he can't play. I agree as does Doc Baker who says that there should only be a few minutes left in the game anyway.

We see another play on the field followed by Ellerbee calling timeout. He calls his son over to tell him that there's time for two plays and...yikes! Dan has a huge bruise around his eye and blood streaked around his nose and mouth. He looks like Ziggy Startdust after a cocaine overdose. His hair is perfectly in place -- nice attention to detail there, hairdressers. Also, how did Albert not get this beat up? Anyway, Coach tells the boy stuff about laterals and running wide and Willie, but it looks like Dan is focusing all his energy on remaining upright and not swallowing his tongue. He goes back on the field, holds a brief huddle and moves on to the play. They don't get much yardage but are still within scoring range. On the last play Dan tries a rushing maneuver that doesn't resemble anything that Coach said and the game ends without a score, which means Walnut Grove lost.

The crowd stands up and applauds as Albert runs over to join his teammates. There is some chatter about how it was a good game and everybody did their best and the vibe seems really positive. That is until Ellerbee calls the team over. "No game you lose is a good game," he begins. Boooooo! "You could have won that game but you didn't want it bad enough." Oh gross, Dan's now sporting some fresh blood -- how did that even happen when there was no contact? Anyway, Ellerbee threatens to work the boys so hard and blah blah blah. The boys are disappointed and Mrs. Ellerbee looks pissed.

That night Pete is in his mancave looking at that damn scrapbook again. Mrs. Ellerbee comes in to report that Dan is asleep, which causes Pete to slam his book closed. Sleep? DAMMIT! "I would have won today if I hadn't lost that Ingalls boy," he says. There's no "I" in team, Big Rock. I loathe that saying, but you of all people should know and adhere to it. "You lost Dan today, too," says Mrs. Ellerbee. Pete dismisses that claim, saying that the boy just needs to toughen up. That's going to be a challenge given how his face must be tenderized by now. "He doesn't need a coach, he needs a father!" she replies. "Well you make a sissy out of him if you want to, I'm gonna make him a man," he returns. You are this close to me using the phrase "dead to me", Mr. Ellerbee. Not even Harriet Oleson has that distinction. Mrs. Ellerbee is just as exasperated, crying out "what does it take to make you understand?" "It's you who doesn't understand," he replies. I know you are, but what am I? She starts grabbing trophies from the shelf and asks "does this make you a man?" as she throws each one to the ground. He grabs his wife, Sandra (that would have helped earlier, show), and tells her to stop. Sandra looks her husband in the eye and says "hurting people doesn't make you a man: knowing how to love them does." Did I mention I recorded this off the Hallmark Channel? Anyway it works to sober up Pete and he calmly says that Dan doesn't have to play football anymore. He goes on to say that Dan only played because Albert was hurt. "I can make something out of that boy; he's got guts." Why don't you ask Charles to sign over the adoption papers so you can have your own little gridiron Skinner box? Sandra leaves the mancave.

The next day we hear Ellerbee yelling as we watch Albert approach the town. He walks over to the coach and they chat about the prognosis. Albert says he should be okay in a couple of weeks and Pete says that means that Albert should still get to play the last game or two of the season. Albert is all "thanks, but no thanks," saying that although he appreciated the team building aspects of the sport he is more interested in being a doctor than a patient. Ellerbee gets into asshole coach mode with the pass-agg "you mean football isn't important enough to you?" Albert says "yup, that just about sums it up. Toodles, poodles." Actually, he says that games are fun, but Ellerbee-style football is too much like work. See, that's the philosophy I like to use with my students -- if you're not having fun, you're working way too hard. Ellerbee, on the other hand, just looks completely lost as if Albert just sprouted three heads and they all spoke Portuguese. Albert wishes his former coach good luck and heads off to school. Ellerbee walks over to the team as marching music plays in the background. Willie asks where Coach is going and he says he's going home to speak with Dan.

Laura voices over that practices have since been cut in half and the team's grades improved. The team ended their season 2-6, which was an improvement over last year's 1-7. Most importantly: the team had fun.