Harriet's Happenings 4/5

Erich and Papa Schiller are working on their fence when Charles drops by for a visit. He is returning the Bible that Mr. Schiller left at the school after he ran out of the Spelling Bee. Charles wanted to return it at church on Sunday but apparently the Schillers skipped out on the services this week because Erich was sick. Charles doesn’t seem to buy that excuse and asks Erich if it is true that he quit school. Erich says he doesn’t need school and points to his Papa that you can do just fine without it. Papa Schiller says he doesn’t understand what happened with that Spelling Bee to cause Erich to hate school. So you can’t spell “xanthophyll”; that’s a very small part of life. Charles confides that no one expected Erich to win the Spelling Bee because of the article in the paper and, as a result, Erich tried to hard and failed. Shut up, Charles. Papa Schiller says he heard that Mrs. Oleson hoped that Erich would win but Charles reports that she said more. “Just remember, son, if you quit school then Mrs. Oleson gets her petty revenge,” Charles says. “The only one who’s going to suffer is you.” You know, just because you brought their Bible back doesn’t give you license to be a preacher, Ingalls. Charles leaves so that the Schillers can have a chat. Papa asks what else the Frau said and Erich tells him the whole “illiterate” part of the story. I know English is not Papa Schiller’s first language, but he must have a pretty firm grasp of it if the word “illiterate” can be communicated with relative easy. Papa asks Erich why he didn’t tell them before and the boy says he didn’t want his parents to be hurt. “That woman can not hurt us, Erich,” says Papa. He then tells his son to go back to school so he can grow up and be better than they are. They have a moment. Aww. Papa sends Erich to school.

Over at the Pen and Plow office, Charles is talking with Murdoch about the quality of his publication. “This is America, Mr. Ingalls. Every business is entitled to make a legitimate profit, even newspapers.” Although Murdoch’s publication isn’t my cup of tea, the man has a point. Even though I agree with Charles calling the paper a “scandal sheet”, I like the First Amendment way more than I dislike The Pen and Plow. Charles resents the fact that the paper is being used to spread lies and rumors and promote the writer’s business. Yeah, the conflict of interest aspect is a bit disgusting. Murdoch is holding firm on his free market “give the public what it wants” publishing style. Charles says he doesn’t want to buy Murdoch’s garbage. Before he leaves, Charles reminds Murdoch that he owes his kids a week’s pay and they will be in later to pick it up. Uh, Charles, you do understand how the money to pay their wages is being generated, right?

Later that day, Harriet is walking over to the newspaper office to deliver her latest report. A dog chases after her and she runs into the office. Albert and Laura are rather sedated as they sit in the office chairs. Harriet wonders aloud why people bring dogs into town instead of leaving them at their farms where they belong. She then starts to mince about the office and is surprised to see that her cousin is not there. Laura tells Mrs. Oleson that he went to the telegraph office, so Harriet does her own copy editing as the children look on. After mumbling the details of the latest sale at the Mercantile, Harriet reads the next news item out loud. “There is a rumor being widely circulated that Nellie Oleson probably has the highest moral character in the community. She won’t be seen out with a boy at night.” Oy, where to begin? You know, with all of the non-news items reported these days, they are surprisingly more informative, more relevant, and not as poorly written as that tidbit of junk. Sorry, but the editor in me just had an ulcer. Anyway, Harriet skims the remainder of her copy until she reaches the following item: “Mrs. Oleson has been receiving many, many compliments on her likeness in The Pen and Plow. Some say that it brings out her natural beauty and others say it doesn’t quite do her justice.” I don’t care if “stet” is written in huge red letters across the copy, that shit needs fixing.

Laura has to bite her tongue to keep from openly laughing at Mrs. Oleson. Harriet places the copy on the desk and gives her permission to go to press as she leaves the office. Once the door is closed, Laura cannot contain herself and starts snarking on Harriet. Albert doesn’t seem to be paying attention to his sister as he stares at the typeset in front of him. A light bulb turns on in his head and he reorients the typeset. “I think we ought to check this type again,” Albert says. Laura says there’s nothing that needs changing and Pa said they aren’t allowed. “I know what he said,” replies Albert, “but I thought we might change it a little bit, if you get my meaning.” A smile crosses Laura’s face as she hops onto Albert’s train of thought. She joins her brother at the type set and they get to work.